Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, «Where did you get such a great bike?» The second engineer replied, «Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, «Take what you want.» The second engineer nodded approvingly, «Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn’t have fit.»
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Answer: Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets.
The graduate with a Science degree asks, «Why does it work?» The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, «How does it work?» The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, «How much will it cost?» The graduate with an Sociology degree asks, «Do you want fries with that?
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, «It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints.» Another said, «No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections. The last one said, «Actually it must have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?»
Normal people believe that if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain’t broke, it doesn’t have enough features yet.